Pregnant and new mothers need empathy and support from loved ones. They may find it hard to be honest about their feelings and accept help in the beginning. Be patient and be available.
- Encourage her to get help from a professional.
- Help her find a support group and local resources.
- Spend time listening without needing to offer solutions and advice.
- Look after the baby or older children, or discuss other childcare options so she can have a break.
- Take a simple action like cooking and cleaning without taking over these activities or expecting anything in return.
- Encourage her to take care of herself by eating, resting, walking and limiting alcohol use.
Tips for New Moms and Parents Struggling with Depression and Anxiety - Advice from Other Moms
-
It’s okay to ask for help and accept it when offered.
-
Be flexible with your birth plan. Sometimes things don't go as planned. If you are struggling with disappointment around your birth experience, talking with your healthcare provider or another mom could help.
-
After-delivery experiences vary for every mom. Be gentle with yourself and remember that your experience is unique. Take things day by day and reach out to a health care provider if things feel overwhelming.
-
Make finding mommy friends a PRIORITY. Build your support system by talking with other new parents and really lean on the people that are offering to help.
-
Remember self-care. Moms need to take care of themselves first in order to take care of their baby's needs.
-
Remember that this stage is temporary and will change. You will grow as a new mom and feel more settled in this new role as time goes on.
-
Find a way to get several uninterrupted hours of sleep, at least every couple of days. Talk with your partner, friends, and doctor about how to do this in a way you are comfortable with.
-
Create a sleep routine before bedtime that will help your body to relax. For example, soft music, warm tea, meditation, etc.
-
Create some daily routines that help you and your baby adjust to this new transition. That being said, it’s okay if the schedule doesn’t go according to plan. You’re all learning together.
-
Have realistic expectations of yourself and your baby. – It might feel as though you're sometimes taking one step forward and two steps back. For example, the baby starts sleeping six hours straight for several nights but then starts waking up every two hours. This is not a failure on your part, this is normal baby behavior.
-
Adopt a mantra. – “Control what you can and forget the rest” – “You are going to get through this” – “I am a great Mama.” – “I’m ok and my baby is ok” – “One day at a time” – “I am a strong woman. I made a baby!”
-
Be aware of your social media and phone use. – Social media is a great way to connect with others but it can also lead to comparison or being fearful of bad things happening. Be mindful of how social media impacts you and if it is negative, consider limiting it.
-
Be kind to yourself. – treat yourself the way you would treat a dear friend. What would you say to your friend who is going through the same things you are?
-
Take in the good. – Celebrate the small victories (“I showered today!”) and create a gratitude list to help your mind focus on the good.
-
Rethink anxiety – Your anxiety does not define you. Think of it as being outside of yourself and something that there are resources available to help you with.
-
Get Outside. – Get fresh air, every day if you can, even if it is 5 minutes. A change in scenery can be helpful. If this seems like it’s just too much, that is an indication that you need to ask for help from a healthcare provider so that you feel better.
-
Allow yourself to feel the “feels.” – It’s ok to cry, to feel overwhelmed, to feel sad, to grieve what things were and how different things are now. It’s okay to not be okay. Just make sure you are also reaching out for help. Call a friend, a counselor or a doctor if the “feels” get overwhelming.
